When I first stepped into leadership, I didn’t really know who I was supposed to be. So I did what most people do. I looked around at the leaders I’d seen, the ones who seemed to have it together, and I just tried to be them.
Some of it was obvious stuff. The way they held a room. The certainty they projected. The way they spoke in meetings. I thought that was what leadership looked like, so I tried on version after version of it.
And I was reasonably good at it. Which was almost the problem.
What I didn’t work out until later is that none of it was me. I wasn’t drawing on anything real. I was performing a version of leadership that had been written by other people, and every day it cost me more than I could see at the time. It was only when I stopped trying to change my colours, when I started accepting that I was actually a valid candidate for this job as myself, that things shifted. I was lucky I figured that out when I did. A lot of leaders never do.
This week on the podcast I’ve been thinking about why that is, and I found an unlikely reference point: the cuttlefish.
A cuttlefish can change its colour, its pattern, even the texture of its skin. It can blend into almost anything. For a cuttlefish, that’s just how it works. The trouble is, a lot of school leaders are doing the same thing, and we’re not built for it. Holding a version of yourself that isn’t real takes a massive amount of energy Stack that on top of everything else you’re already carrying, and it’s no wonder Wednesday feels like it should be Friday.
The leaders I see thrive aren’t the ones who’ve figured out how to play the role better. They’re the ones who’ve stopped playing a role at all. They lead from what they already know, what they already value, what they’ve already built through years in schools. That’s not a shortcut. It takes work to trust that version of yourself. But it drains you a lot less.
Have a think this week about where you’re changing your colours. Not the obvious stuff, the bigger performances are usually easy to spot. The subtler ones. The moments where you say something in a meeting that isn’t quite what you think, because it’s what you’ve learned a leader is supposed to say.
Is that serving you, or is it just costing you?
Reply and let me know. I read every email.
Shane
P.S. A heads up - next week on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday I'm sending some emails about my Leadership Intensive Course and how you can join the September cohort. It's not something I do often, so I wanted to be upfront about it.
If they're not relevant to where you are right now, no hard feelings at all - feel free to skip them. But if you do open them, I'll make sure there's enough in there to be worth your time whether you're interested in joining or not.
Listen to the latest episode
Click here to listen to this week's episode of my chart-topping podcast, Education Leaders